spoiler alert: fundraising isn’t just asking for money.

Early on in my career, I was sitting across from a board member who—within the first two minutes of our coffee—looked me straight in the eye and said, “I hate fundraising.”

In response, I asked them to do something simple: connect me with a colleague they mentioned earlier who worked in finance and had expressed interest in our mission. They lit up. “Oh yeah! I’d be happy to introduce you.”

Fast forward a few weeks: that introduction led to a meeting, which led to a follow-up, which led to a first-time gift. And I couldn’t help but smile thinking back to our conversation. That board member was fundraising—they just didn’t know it.

Fundraising is so much more than the ask.

Too many people hear the word “fundraising” and immediately picture themselves awkwardly asking someone for money over wine and cheese. But solicitation is just one part of a much bigger, strategic, and honestly more human process.

What most people don’t realize is that fundraising is about building relationships over time—and every single step in that process matters.

Whether you’re a frontline fundraiser, a board member of a nonprofit, or a volunteer, understanding the moves management cycle is critical. It’s the roadmap for how we engage donors from strangers to champions. Here’s a quick breakdown:

1. Identification

This is where our story starts. Who do we want to build a relationship with? Who has the capacity and the inclination to give? This is where connections, research, and strategic outreach matter most. That board member? A rock star at this step.

2. Qualification

Just because someone is a billionaire doesn’t mean they Once we have names, we dig deeper. Are they really a fit? What are their interests? What’s their giving history? This is quiet, behind-the-scenes work—but it’s absolutely vital.

3. Cultivation

This is the long game. Coffee chats, events, phone calls, updates, invitations to get involved—this is where trust is built. Relationships are formed well before the ask ever happens.

4. Solicitation

Yes, this is the actual “ask” part. But when the first three steps are done well, solicitation feels natural, not forced. It’s a conversation, not a pitch.

5. Stewardship

This is where a lot of nonprofits drop the ball. Thanking, updating, celebrating, and showing impact—this is what makes donors feel seen, appreciated, and more likely to give again.

Everyone has a role in fundraising – even if they never make an ask.

Back to my board member. They weren’t comfortable asking for money—and that’s okay. But their ability to open doors, connect dots, and make introductions was incredibly powerful. And it was critical to our success.

If you’re part of a nonprofit and you think fundraising isn’t “your thing,” I’d challenge you to look at the full cycle. Are you good at storytelling? Hosting events? Sending thoughtful follow-ups? Researching donors? Congratulating a donor on a new grandchild?

That’s all fundraising.

Final Thoughts

Fundraising isn’t just one moment—it’s a series of moments. It’s about relationships, not transactions. And the truth is, some of the best fundraisers out there don’t even know they’re doing it.

So if you “hate fundraising,” I get it. But maybe… just maybe… you’ve been a fundraiser all along.