they’re not atm machines-they’re people.

Let’s talk about something I wish more people understood deep in their bones: Donors are not ATM machines. They’re not just names on a spreadsheet or dollar signs on a dashboard. They’re full, complex, interesting humans—with stories, passions, quirks, and favorite pastimes. And if you want to build real relationships with them (the kind that lead to transformational giving), you need to treat them like people.

Since I’m on a “bird kick” lately, I’m going to use birdwatching in this scenario.

You’re talking to a donor over coffee or during a site visit, and they casually mention that they’ve gotten into birdwatching. Nothing big. Just a sentence. Maybe they recently spotted a pileated woodpecker in their backyard and lit up as they described it.

If you share a passion for birding, then this is your opportunity to shine! You are thrilled to have found this common ground and maybe even share a photo of the new binoculars you just got for your birthday. Or, maybe you know absolutely nothing about birds and even though you love Owen Wilson, you fell asleep halfway through “The Big Year.”

Guess what? It doesn’t matter if you love birding or if you know nothing about it. Because it’s not about you.

What does matter is that you listen. And that you remember.

A couple months later, you see an article in the New York Times about migratory patterns or the resurgence of a rare bird species. And you think of that donor. So, you forward the article with a quick note:

"Saw this and thought of you! Hope you’ve spotted a few good ones this week."

That 30-second gesture?

Boom. That’s one of your 5-7 annual touchpoints.

And here’s the best part: it didn’t require you to understand anything about migratory bird patterns. It just required you to care.

This Is the Work

Let me be clear: this is not “extra.” This is the job.

Because fundraising—real fundraising—isn’t just about asking. It’s about cultivating. It’s about making people feel seen and valued, not just solicited.

When you aim for 5-7 meaningful touchpoints per year with each top donor, you are planning for success. These thoughtful, intentional moments keep the relationship warm and human.

That bird article? That’s one.

A handwritten thank-you card? That’s two.

An invite to a behind-the-scenes tour? Three.

A text (or voice note) saying “Congrats on the new grandbaby”? Four.

You see where I’m going with this.

Remembering = Respect

Here’s the truth: people give where they feel respected and connected.

So start putting more thought and care into every single donor interaction. Keep notes. Actually use your CRM (I see you, ignoring that “notes” tab). Take 30 seconds after a call or meeting to jot down the personal things they mention. Not just the dollar signs and pledge timelines.

💡 Pro Tip: Short on time? Voice-text a quick summary of the call into an email to yourself right after you hang up. Then later, just copy and paste it into your database. It doesn’t have to be perfect—just easy to understand for anyone reading it. Think of it as a love note to your future self (or the next person who picks up the relationship).

When you take the time to record the human details, you make future touchpoints easy and meaningful. You’re not scrambling for a reason to reach out—you already have one.